Controversy has already landed on the doorstep of Britain’s newest political party, BUNK (pay no taxes). Inspirational founder and globally respected political thinker, Mr Moan, has a new partner, the former Russian Olympic shot putter, Eva Brick.
Ms Brick was recently part of the security arrangements for the British Foreign Secretary’s visit to Moscow. She described the dignitary as ‘waif-like and bonkers’. “She kept asking for rides in a T-14 Armata tank,” she exclaimed.
Gun-toting Eva, pictured, was hand-picked to be a member of the National Guard to watch over the Kremlin leader. But her world changed the day she opened the cell door at Domodedovo Airport in Moscow and saw Mr Moan. Within a day she had covered up the packets of a white substance which Mr Moan claimed had been planted. Then they were on their way to London to begin a new life together. But that was just the start.
The Russian Council
When Eva discovered BUNK it resonated with her political beliefs.
“Mr Moan,” she explained as she cracked open the lobster shells, “ the word ‘soviet’ derives from the Russian word sovet (Russian: COBET) which translates into ‘council’ or perhaps ‘assembly’. She picked him up and threw him onto the settee. “You are a genius and I am going to reward you.” As she leaped on top of our future prime minister she realised, too late, that she was still wearing her AK-74M assault rifle. Mr Moan was released from A&E at six o’clock the following morning.
Their working relationship has prospered aided by Ms Brick’s knowledge of a number of Russian Oligarchs living in London. She has raised enough funding for the BUNK party to pay off Mr Moan’s credit card debts and outstanding paternity payments. He gazed into her eyes: “How have you done it?” he asked.
“Simple Mr Monie,” she laughed. “I told them that when BUNK is in power they can have a seat in the House of Lords and first call on Government contracts.”
“No change there,” smiled a beaming Mr Moan.