There are now two little handfuls cluttering up the place. It’s hell on earth in here. Don’t even mention that stinky mutt and that dandruffy oaf that turns up here now and then between parties and mud-slinging in the gallery. It’s not fair. Why should he be the one getting out and about and having fun? Why can’t I?
Soft Furnishings
I wish Lulu had explained how difficult it would be to get sick and dribble off her soft furnishings. At that price you’d think they were Teflon-coated.

For a few months he kept saying that he was Teflon-coated but he doesn’t seem to be saying that as much nowadays for some reason. He was going to go up to yet another vaccination centre in Scotland yesterday but he’s changed his mind on that one now too. Goodness knows why!
I have a feeling that he’s maybe falling into bad company. He can be so short-tempered these days and he’s even been shouting at his best mate Dom. (No, not that one!.. you know… the other one… ‘Psycho’…) I mentioned about getting a new washing machine yesterday and he nearly went through the roof. What’s all that about?

She Doesn’t Live Here Any More!
Cliff keeps texting me saying he still has to tell everyone I’ve moved. You’d think the mail redirection I set up when he bought my old flat a couple of years ago would have worked. I ran it for a month, for God’s sake! He loves a good sing-song though, doesn’t he!
What’s that smell? Oh my God! Get that bloody dog off the sofa will you! …Shit! …Too late! Have to go. ‘Laters’….