Bunk, already installed as the bookies favourite for the May 2024 General Election, Mr Moan is leaving no stone unturned in his search for political success. He has revealed his ruthless streak by shuffling his front bench. While singing Boris’s favourite song, Meat Loaf’s “I’d lie for you and that’s the truth” he has sacked his shadow chancellor Nick Leeson and shadow minister for health, Hannibal Lecter. However, he has been unable to find his shadow home secretary. He is apparently in France selling portable dinghies on the shores of Dunkirk. His real coup has been to recruit a former Conservative minister, Badine Follies. This is after her exclamation of joy on hearing the words, ‘Chief Whip’.
Members Grow Richer
Underpinning the avalanche of good press has been Mr Moan’s political mantra ‘Vote BUNK and pay no taxes’. This has really caught the mood of the populus. As members of the Houses of Commons and Lords grow richer, often as puppets.
The Russian oligarchs have taken over London Banking channels, and the Governor of the Bank of England on £550,000+ tells workers not to ask for pay rises. In addition, there’s been Rishi’s sleight of hand. To help British people pay their energy bills, he is lending them £200. And he’s also giving a £150 rebate on their band A – D house rates. This will be offset by the many councils proposing to increase rates by, yes, you’ve guessed it, 5%!
A New Beginning With Bunk
Considered by many to be the greatest political thinker in history Mr Moan is preparing. He will lead his party BUNK into creating a new beginning for British people. This is providing, of course, the judge accepts his plea of mitigation concerning his recent PPE fraud investigation.
